I came home to a hilarious sight last night. I walked in the door and went to check email, then headed upstairs. The door from the stairs leads into the kitchen - and the dogs always come to greet me there when I get home. The dogs were there as usual, but they had yarn wrapped around their tails and caught in their hair.

It confused me at first, but then it hit me: Amanda is working on a baby blanket and had left the yarn (and the blanket) on the chair in the living room. The yarn was wrapped around the kitchen table, throught the chairs, around the table again, into the living room, over the ottoman and around the stairs into the dining room. I followed the trail around the dining room table a few times and finally got to the end; a slightly smaller baby blanket. The tangle of yarn was so huge that we had to cut it and throw that portion away. The whole time I spent searching, Oscar (probably the main culprit) was nowhere to be found. Meanwhile Ophelia (the fat little miracle cat) was standing by her food dish only concerned about eating. I should have taken a picture, but in the time it would have taken me to get the camera, there would have been more mess...

I have this thing against telemarketers. It's just that I hate them. They annoy me and continuously call, even after we ask them to stop. While I was in the dining room cleaning up the yarn the phone rang. Thinking it could be Amanda calling, I dropped the yarn I had collected and went to get the phone. The caller ID said something about a "Surf Shop" or something similar. So I answered. I was greeted by a recording...

"HI! My name is Maria. I have a special offer for you. We're offering special rates on Satellite Cable. If you're interested, press 9 now. PRESS 9 NOW!"

Given that it was my only option, I pressed 9. After a few seconds an operator picked up and asked how she could help me. My response?

"I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME OFF YOUR GOD DAMN CALL LIST. I AM SICK OF YOU PEOPLE CALLING ME!!"

I had barely gotten out the last part when I heard a click. She hung up on me. Bitch. So I called the number back and actually reached a surfing promotion company. Their recorded messaged informed me that the Dish network had "accidently" programmed their company's name and number to show on caller ID. They said they were in the middle of resolving it, and that I could stay on the line if I was interested in their show in Orlando next week...

I felt like I got my point across, although she hung up on me without giving me the satisfaction of a huge confrontation. It's just that the Dish network has called me so many times before and I'm sick of it. I once had the operator give me the number for every listing she had in our metro area. I called them all and asked them (very nicely) to stop calling me. They suck, and their telemarketing practices are the main reason I would never entertain the idea of getting the service. I should mention the fact that the actual Dish company is not the one who is doing this. It's apparently all the distributing companies who create call lists and proceed to dial my number so many times their fingers must be bloody. (I know it's an automated system, I'm making a point here...)

One last thing. A friend pointed out the fact that I failed to mention in it's a slicer and a dicer that I wasn't using the giant plastic guard that comes with it. Which is why I peeled flesh with it. Which is why they include the guard in the first place. I just want to set the record straight: I'm the dumabss who brought the accident upon myself.

That's it.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

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