One more day.

Amanda is set to be induced tomorrow. We just have to wait for a phone call from the hospital to let us know what time to come in.

I'm at work right now. It's difficult to concentrate - as may be evidenced by the (in)coherency of this entry. Not much sleep last night - want to be home with my wife today. But instead I'm here, trying frantically to finish up projects and tie loose ends.

I'm not really sure what I feel like. I'm incredibly excited. Incredibly nervous. And a little bit (read "lots") scared. Beginning Friday we'll have my brother, his wife, their son, and my parents staying in our house. My parents will stay through the week; brother has to go home Sunday. I am thrilled to have them all there; but a little apprehensive that they might leave with the impression that I am clueless when it comes to the baby. Of course I'm clueless - I've never had a baby before.

I read these incredible journals by fathers who make everything seem effortless. Even when things are rough, they consistently write about all the positives of having a child. They make it all seem so worth it. I'm terrified that I'll think I've made some sort of mistake - that I won't be good at it, and that I won't see the positives when I should. Maybe I'll learn to do it right. I look at some of the true idiots who have children and who have seemed to be OK. If they can do it, so can I. That's the same logic that got me through graduate school, and it seems to have worked. Of course, that was only two years of my life, as opposed to 18 (or more).

I won't ramble any more. Fact is - I'm overjoyed beyond anything I could possibly explain or ruin by trying to assign mere words to it.

Next entry, I'll be a father.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

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What I Read(for fun and amusement)

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HERE