I realized this morning that I have started looking forward to getting to work. To write a journal entry.

I love these realizations. It made me feel much better about being here early and, well, being here at all. I thought last week that I was beginning to enjoy being here - thinking ahead on problems and heading them off at the pass. I knew it had to stop or not be real. I was right.

I couldn't bring myself to do an entry over the weekend. I enjoyed the two days way too much. I got no phone calls from work this weekend. Before I revel in the joy I should point out that it will be made up for today. I just know it.

Great work-free weekend = shitty Monday.

It's a mathematical principle.

Friday sucked ass. I had one of our sales reps in here to pick up his new laptop. I had done all the prep work. I made a tiny two laptop network and transferred everything he had onto the new laptop. There was nothing missed. The first problem here is that this was Al. He's our top grossing salesman. He thinks he's God. And we are told to treat him as if he were. The second problem is that he is the reason I am not allowed to sign out two computers to anyone anymore. He took the last one home without returing the one he should have, and then announced that his wife was going to keep it and use it.

He came into the office Friday and said he didn't care how positive I was that everything had transferred correctly, he wanted to take both machines home.... for a couple of weeks and make sure he likes the new machine. The new machine is an IBM T-30. It looks different than the Dell C600 he currently has. He pitched a fit and ended up saying the reason he wanted it is because "the F4 key is in a different location and it will take time to get used to it".

WHAT A FUCKTARD!

The F4 key may be up to 1/4 of an inch more to the left on the IBM... get used to it motherfucker, stop telling me how you made $88,000 last weekend and you don't want to be slowed down with keys in different places.

I then spent some time creating a "How To" manual for using the new wireless modems and a portion of our proprietary software. I showed in the manual where to go and how to access certain menus. I circled things in red, drew pointers to illustrate things I needed to highlight. I showed the rough draft to my manager and his response was:

"You need to put something in here to let the reps know that their screen will not show arrows and red circles."

Apparently I am not the only person here who thinks these people are complete morons. When I told Amanda about it she said that even her 6-12 year olds would know better. She's right. I honestly thought when I took this job that I would gain some sort of appreciation for salespeople that I never had before. I was wrong. This job has only reinforced my idea that salespeople are idiots (ID-10T's for those of you who enjoy computer humor).

One last thing - we saw Red Dragon on Friday. It was very good. Of course I had already seen it (you may remember I wrote about renting "Manhunter" when I was sick a few weeks back) and knew the basic story. The quality of Red Dragon was overwhelmingly better than Manhunter, and of course the budget was bigger. They also had Anthony Hopkins and Edward Norton. It's too bad Hannibal sucked ass, this could have been a great trilogy. By the way, please don't take your five year old to this movie. And if you insist on doing so, as someone did, don't bring her to the 9:30 showing. It's just wrong.

I guess that's about it. Except for one last thing. I forgot to mention the fact that I ran over Amanda's brand new bike last week. Yes, I am a dumbass. Yes, I felt like shit. But the bike store fixed it for free, and with a minimal level of making fun of me for it. Thanks bike shop.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

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