If I don't find a new job, I am going to go to jail. For murder.

My boss actually told me not to say, "Ahhh! I'm gonna kill somebody!" He says it scares him. I had to tell him that it was my way of showing my frustration with my job and responsibilities. He tells me that the fact that I am required to be on call between 7am and 9pm seven days a week is not too much to ask. He tells me that he is on call 24 hrs a day. All of this is fine and good, except for two things:

1. no on ever mentioned this to me when I got the job.

2. he's the friggin' IT manager and should be on call - he makes enough to justify it.

He told me to start a log of the calls I get outside of normal business hours. It's very difficult to explain to a dumbass that I'm not concerned about the number of calls I'm getting, it's the fact that I get them up until 9pm and on Saturday morning, and at any given time on Sundays.

I thought about it on the way home today - God knows I have enough time now that the office is an hour away. The whole thing boils down to this:

I am now defined by my job. I don't like that. "Me" is not defined by what I do for a living - at least I don't want it to be. I want to be me and have it absolutely unrelated to how I pay for my house. I know this sounds absurd. Maybe if I were a doctor like I had always intended, then I would be proud to be defined by my profession. Then I'd be OK saying, "Hi. I am a doctor. That's me." But instead I feel stuck. I feel like I should be introducing myself as a peon for my corporate-America, Big Brother organization that I work for.

Yesterday one of the reps came in and talked to me about getting a new battery for his laptop. We don't keep extras, and they are very difficult to come by. When I asked my manager last week about ordering some new power supplies, his response was, "No. Those are the reps' responsibilities. They need to learn to keep track of them." So I told this guy I would try to get a battery ordered, and that I didn't know how long it would take because I've never done it before. Just then, my manager comes by and the rep tells him that I said I might order one but I didn't know "when I'd get around to it". Go fuck yourself. I told him that when he stops lying, I'll start helping him and walked away.

My manger came by later and told me he didn't want to see that type of response from me anymore. I told him that the guy was a liar and I didn't have time for that crap. He told me that I am there to "serve" the reps and I should do whatever it takes.... but those fucking power supplies are still their responsibility, right? How the hell can you say that and then tell me not to do what I did?

So I came home today and got online to find a job. There are none. No one is hiring for much of anything - except at the local gas station where I can apparently make $38,000 a year as a manager. That's depressing. I am working my ass off 7 days a week and getting treated like shit for less money than I could make at a gas station.

I'm gonna go sit and stare for a while.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

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