God hates me.

Or at the very least he really likes to punish me.

I left the office yesterday to go see the bitch at the nursing home. It was raining all day, and at this point it was just doing that annoying misting, "I think I want to rain, but I'm not sure" type of rain. I had my wipers on a mid-level intermittent setting. I hear a "pop!". My wipers have stopped in the middle of their swing.

I was on a very busy highway in an area that I'm really not too familiar with. I tried the controls a few times to see if it was just a case of me having temporarily lost the knowledge of how to operate wipers. But it wasn't. So I called Amanda. She had the day off AND she knows much more about cars than I do. Yes - that's something I'll freely admit; it comes from her growing up with a mechanic for a father, plus an amazing ability to be interested in such things. She said I needed to turn the car off and let it rest a few minutes, then try it again. I managed to get off at the next exit by following the very blurry tail lights of the truck in front of me and ended up in a Denny's parking lot. No luck with turning the engine off. So we decided to look at the fuses. Everything was A-OK there.

I saw an Auto & Tire sign across the street and decided to try my luck there. I spoke to a woman there who told me it would be $59.99 just for them to look at it, but she couldn't guarantee they could actually fix it. I told her it was raining and my wipers weren't working and that I thought $59.99 was a ripoff. I asked her to suggest a less expensive place nearby. She did and I made it there - Pep Boys. I waited in line, gave the guy all my information and then he told me he couldn't fix it. It seems my car is not only the wrong make and model, but also too new. They won't be able to replace my wipers until 2008. He said I should go to the dealer, and that it must be under warranty still. I said "Yes, it is. But it's raining and my wipers don't work and I have no clue where the nearest dealer is."

His suggestion?

Almost pure GENIUS! He told me to buy some rainx and go to the dealer - he even gave me directions.

One problem with rainx, it has to be put on a dry surface. I managed, at about 20mph, to find a deserted gas station to park at so I could dry and apply. While I was doing all this, thinking everyone's laughing at me because I haven't figured out there's no gas there, some guy pulls in and pops his tank and it's not until he pulls out his wallet that he figures out the gas station is out of business. He gave me a quick glance and then left as quickly as possible.

Rainx is a miracle. I managed to drive across town, three major highways, in the rain with no wipers. I discovered the secret: you have to go at least 40 mph to get the full effects. I made it to the dealer I always go to for repairs, tune ups, etc.

The best part of it all was that it was fixed in about 20 minutes. AND they fixed my sunroof, so now I don't have to go there next Thursday on my day off to have it done. AND IT WAS ALL FREE! The whole ordeal only cost me $2.00, for the rainx. And that *foreign bitch wanted to charge me $59.99.

*Disclaimer: despite the sound of that sentence, I actually have no ill feelings, generally, toward foreigners.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

---

What I Read(for fun and amusement)

---

HERE