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2002-11-22 - 2:32 p.m.

she wants me

I'm not sure what to think. Actually I am still in shock and haven't had a chance to think.

I spent the entire morning attending sales-meetings (that's a whole other entry) and installing an email client for these reprehensible people we call reps (for reprehensible, for those of you for whom that was too subtle). After nearly passing out from not eating lunch, I told my boss I was going to get something to eat and that I may never return. Thank god he's developed a tiny sense of humor and did not take me seriously, but he did ask me to come into his office for a few minutes. After flexing his micromanagement muscles by asking for a detailed report of how things went this morning and what my next steps would be, he told me that I had gotten an "atta-boy" type compliment... here's the kicker, brace yourself.... from a salesrep! This rep apparently called in just to speak to my manager and for the sole purpose of telling him what a spectacular job I have been doing. I nearly fell over.

The sad thing is, I don't ever know how to take these things gracefully. I typically end up stumbling or stuttering or making a fool of myself in some way. I did both the stumbling and the stuttering today. I just don't take compliments well, at all. Ironic though - I get pissed off for getting no recognition and then can't handle getting some. It's just that I don't like the attention. I think I've talked about this before and if I weren't lazy, I'd go find some entries where I've talked about it so I could paint a better picture. But I am lazy. Go find them yourself if you're interested. It boils down to this: I highly enjoy being in the background. I enjoy setting up, taking down, preparing for and cleaning up. I do not like being in the spotlight. I am not and never have been the life of the party. That's my brother. Everyone likes him - it's not a complete experience without him there. And that's one of the things that makes him great - he's clueless about that. He has no idea, and so he's not humble without reason, or gloating and rubbing your face in it. I don't want to be that person - I wouldn't know how to pull it off and it would seem forced and fake.

OK - back to my boss. After telling me about the compliment, he goes on to tell me they would like to give me a raise. A raise that would be more than the alloted, pre-set aside money, more than the usually allowed amount. I about shit my pants. Of course I'm not stupid and so I am not going to hold my breath or go out and buy anything. But the fact that they're contemplating it is good enough for me for right now. It may not materialize. And if it does, it may not be as much as I think. Either way - more is more, and that's better.

In other news - for any of you who may have been disappointed by Chris Cornell's last endeavor, have no fear. Audioslave is here. It just proves that he should never have gone off on his own. He's much better with an already well known assortment of musicians playing for him. I bought the CD today at lunch and have so far liked what I've been able to hear through my tiny & tinny laptop speakers. The girl at the music store (Jena, I think) said she heard it was good. She also wants me. I could tell. She talked about my hair. Lots of gay men, and very few women, love men with curly hair. She remarked about it and proceeded to tell me how she loves to be able to run her fingers through a man's hair. I also got the CD at a discount price....coincidence? No, not really. It was on sale. But I like to pretend she gave just me the discounted price. My world - my rules.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27


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