It's becoming more real now.

I'm going to be a dad. Soon.

OK, well in a few months. But in the grand scheme of things, that's soon.

I got home last night to find Amanda's sister and her son at our house. She and Amanda had plans to do some crafty stuff. My newphew saw me and smiled - a great big, silly, old man with no teeth kind of smile. It broke right through the terrible day and terrible traffic I had been so focused on until then.

All the way home I was trying to concentrate on getting home and messing around with my brand new router. It's a ryobi plunge router. I'm going to make things with it. Never having had a router of my very own, I was excited to get home, take it out of the box, and sit in awe of the power before me. Even after I got home and saw E sitting there with his grin, I had the router on my mind. Amanda asked where we could go for dinner and my reply was, "Anywhere that gets me back home in time to play with my router." The decision was then made, due to the rain, that one of us would stay home with E and the others would go retrieve some food. I got to stay with E. I wasn't unhappy about this - in fact, it was my decision. I volunteered. I was excited at the prospect of spending some time with the little man, and knew that Amanda really enjoys her time with her sister. It was a win-win.

We sat in the "big" chair. It's big - big enough for Amanda and I to sit comfortably and watch movies together. We watched lots of commercials and I gave a running commentary on how dumb they all are - how they're just trying to get you to buy this, try that, get sucked in to paying "easy monthly payments", etc. I pointed out the pretty lady on the screen and said, "hey, what's the pretty lady doing?" and just as the words came out of my mouth, I realized it was a tampon commercial. I felt stupid.

We watched one of the old episodes of Charmed. More pretty ladies. Not selling tampons. (well, all pretty except for that new sister - she's scary, and reminds me of Olive Oyl from the live action Popeye movie.) I'm sitting there letting him know what's going on in the episode, him cooing and drooling (I do that sometimes too). Suddenly there's this noise.... and a feeling. My hand is cupping his little backside for support - I think his little body actually lifted slighty with the expulsion of air. He looked very pleased with himself, and a bit relieved too.

We played "Let the dogs back in the house before they annoy the neighbors", "Let's go see what's in the kitchen", "Joshua is my favorite person" (he refused to even try to say it), and "Practice sticking your tongue out so mommy and daddy will think uncle Joshua is funny". That last one is a trick I successfully taught to my other newphew (my brother's son). We also discovered a new game. He had his pacifier in his mouth and I pulled it out to see if it upset him (don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to be cruel to him, I just didn't want his mom to return and think I shoved it in his mouth to keep him quiet). Much to my surprise, he laughed. I gave it back to him and waited. About 20 seconds later I made a noise and pulled it out of his mouth again. And again he laughed. This game lasted a long time - he never really tired of it, although I'm sure he would have at some point. He loved the faces I made, the sounds I made, hearing me talk to him. He seemed quite content just having me there. I didn't really have to do anything (I know it won't always be that way with my child - I'm not lost in some fantasy world. I caught him on a good night, plus he's generally a good-natured child).

By the time Amanda and her sister returned with the food, I was in a groove with him. We were right in the middle of getting to know each other. I was afraid they would try to take him from me. They didn't. I ate my dinner with E on my lap, reaching for the food - trying to kick the plate off its delicately balanced place between my knee and a pillow. It was nice. After dinner, they went straight to work and left him with me. I realized at some point that I had completely forgotten about the router. I didn't mind. It suddenly didn't seem that important that I get to use it immediately (I just got it Sunday). But there was nothing on TV and so I got the instructions and read them to E. He's now the youngest person who is well versed on how to use a plunge router.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

---

What I Read(for fun and amusement)

---

HERE