Christmas is over.

The families have all been seen and the presents given.

I'm suffering from a syndrome associated with holiday let-down. It's called "return to work".

The thing I hate most about taking a day or days off is that when I return, EVERYONE needs me. It's almost as if we stopped functioning as a company. Then all of a sudden it's, "Hey! Joshua's back!!!" It's really not that bad, but almost.

Christmas day was good - I really enjoy the time in the early morning with Amanda. We try to get up earlier than normal, we open our stockings and our presents and talk about how lucky we are. Then it's time to get the day started. We have to set aside all the cool gifts (I got her a digital camera - at least I say it's for her!) and try to rush through the shower, figure out what to wear and make sure we have everything, then head off to the Christmas day celebrations. Once we're there I'm fine, it's the getting there that sucks.

Thursday we set off to see my parents. It's probably the last time we'll see them until July when our baby is born. I was very excited to get down there to see them, well - actually I was excited because my dad promised to give me the Playstation2 my mom gave him last year. The one that only got taken out of the box so my brother could scavenge for cords to use on his Playstation2 that my mom also gave him. Now I have to go buy a new cable so I can use my brand new (1 year old) Playstation2.

Everytime I go back to the house I grew up in, I realize why I don't even live in the same state anymore. My family is great and all, but it's also a bit annoying to be there. Nothing is how I left it eleven years ago. My parents both live there, even though they've been divorced since I was 11. My parents make it OBVIOUS that I am the favorite child (sorry, it's true). They also pull me into the middle of all the shit that goes on that I shouldn't have to be involved in. They don't do it purposely - I can't stress that enough. They are concerned about so many things, and they think I will be able to help in some way. But I can't. Honestly I don't want to, even if I could. What they don't realize is that I have my own set of problems. I'm dealing with my own shit. And besides, my solution is not what anyone wants to hear.

Which brings me to another point. I don't want to hear anyone's opinion of how I should raise my child. There are a few key people in my life who are chomping at the bit - highly anticipating the birth of our baby just so they can say,

"Oh, just wait until he does this. Just wait until you're up all night because of this.

OR

"When our child does this, here's how we handle it. You shouldn't do such-and-such with your child."

ATTENTION ALL OF YOU WHO WILL KNOW MY BABY: Do NOT tell me your opinion unless I ask for it! ESPECIALLY those of you who didn't really want a child in the first place. (I know and realize that this will be difficult, if not impossible, for many of you.)

The main reason I don't want an opinion is because it's my child. I want to do it my way - make my own mistakes, learn what works and what doesn't. The secondary reason I don't want some peoples' opinion is that their life is not how they want it to be right now - so why the fuck should I take their advice? When your life is just the way you want it to be, then maybe you can think about spouting your opinion at me, until then - shut your cake hole.

***

OK. Reading back over this, I can definitely see how this comes off as a bit "mad". I'm not mad at all though. I'm planning. The fact is, there are some things about becoming a parent that I'm just not excited about. This is one of them. I'm inexplicably unenthusiastic about some stranger or family member telling me what to do with the life I created. As if having a life to take care of is not enough of a huge endeavor - now I've got the threat of "I told you so" or "If you had just done what we did" looming over me. I want help, I want support. What I don't want is someone who I think makes a shitty mom or dad telling me how to do things. It looks like it's time to get the testosterone flowing.... start telling people to shut the fuck up. It's the only way they'll listen. If I'm polite about it, they'll think I'm not actually talking about them. They'll think, "He says he doesn't want advice, but he'll want to hear this.... because it's from me".

And they'll be wrong.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

---

What I Read(for fun and amusement)

---

HERE