We heard the baby's heartbeat for the second time Wednesday. Amazing.

It's getting more and more real - and I am getting more and more anxious. I'm excited, but anxious. More than anything I'm astounded that I've done this, and that Im going to be a father. It boggles the mind.

In four weeks we'll find out the sex of the baby. Geez! What have I done? I'm not ready for this. But I am more ready than some other people I've noticed recently. Amanda and I are constantly having the, "What do we do in this situation" talks. We were impressed the other night by the mother who picked up all the food that her toddler had thrown on the floor or spilled. Not too often you see that.

Amanda's been incredible. Felt some strange things, been sick every now and then, but she amazes me with how she handles it all. We had a talk about how real things are becoming - to me the entire process has been "working on getting pregnant". Now that she is pregnant, and we're going to have a baby, I'm filled with "what do I do now?".

I've been incredibly tired lately. Not working out, not eating right. I wake up and practically have to bribe myself to get out of bed. Then it's a struggle to stay awake at work, and by the time I get home, all I want to do is go to sleep. Last night I was in bed at 9. Stopped reading and turned the light off at 9:30. So, after getting 8 hours of sleep, why am I so exhausted today? So all week I've been thinking to myself, "What the hell am I gonna do when the baby is here? I can't even stay awake - how can I care for an infant?" Maybe it's irrational, maybe it's not. But in my sleepy morning stupor, it makes total sense and scares the shit out of me.

In other news - my car is apparently the one to be behind if you want to be safe from debris on the road. Why? Because all the shit that flies up from the road or other cars hits mine. Therefore, stick by me, your car will be safe while mine gets the crap. The other day I was going to visit a customer and a rock got kicked up by a semi. The whole thing was surreal. It took place in slow motion. I watched the rock as it made its way through the air, seeming to be deciding where it wanted to go. It made its choice and headed straight for my windshield. Small crack (for now) about the size of a penny, right in the line of sight for the passenger seat. My company doesn't cover things like this - so now it's up to me to get it repaired or replaced. They don't pay me enough to replace my windshield.

On the way back to the office that day I got hit by another rock.... along the same stretch of interstate.... on the windshield. Sheesh!

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

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