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2003-02-17 - 4:04 p.m.

smuggling Jesus

OK, this entry may require a bit of background. I'll make it as brief as possible.

Several months ago Amanda and I went out to eat with some of our regular crowd. On our way back out to our cars, Sam found a little baby Jesus made out of felt lying on the ground. At first, none of us was sure what it was, but then Sam turned it around and showed it to us. It was very odd - some of us had thought it was drugs, or just discarded paper. But Sam's curiosity took over and he was the one to actually pick it up. We all had a good laugh and made fun of it for a bit as we made our way back to their car, parked at a friend's house.

It wasn't until the next morning as I was cleaning out my car that I noticed the little baby Jesus was hanging on the driver side rear passenger door handle. I laughed out loud - knowing that Sam thought he was going to get away with pawning off Jesus on me. A few weeks later we had a get-together at our house. When Sam arrived, I enlisted the help of his wife to allow me entry into his (new) car. I carefully placed the little baby Jesus in the middle armrest of Sam's car.

Then a few weeks later we all got together again, and yes - Sam returned the baby Jesus stealthily to me, having someone toss it into my car for him. It truly threw me off for a bit, because I knew he hadn't been in my car and had to do a bit of planning in order to get it back to me. This meant w-a-r. So - while at Sam's house one day, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and, having already discovered which side of the bed he sleeps on, placed the little baby Jesus under his pillow. We heard nothing about the incident. It drove us crazy.

Last night we all went out to dinner. At some point, which none of us can identify yet, Sam disappeared from the table and secured the little baby Jesus in a snack-sized ziploc bag underneath my wiper blade!!! It was raining and he went to the trouble of making sure the little baby Jesus would remain dry. This had taken a bit more planning.... He's sneaky. But we are better.

Knowing that he and his wife were not going straight home after dinner, we sped to a friends house to retrieve Sam's house key. (Side note here: when we got back in the car to go to Sam's, Amanda leaned over and quietly said to me, "You have got to stop farting!". I can't blame her, it really stunk in my car; but then we all realized we had some leftovers from the restaurant. We had Ethiopian - it can be potent and pungent.) We arrived at his house at 9pm, secured the little baby Jesus (still in his cozy ziploc bag) with scotch tape to the underside of the toilet lid! HA! Pure G-E-N-I-U-S! DAMN I wish I had brought our camera...

We were out of there by 9:05pm. Mission accomplished. We all had a good laugh the entire way home and then Amanda and I started thinking on a more serious note about my interview today (it went OK, I can't talk about it yet...). Our phone rang and we burst out laughing when we realized who it was. We had successfully evaded Sam and his wife, in and out without being caught, and here was the fruit of our labor: the phone call. Interestingly enough, Sam pointed out that the toilet lid was indeed to be their next choice for where to place the little baby Jesus in our house!

I can't say where our next hiding place will be, but it does occur to me that I hope Sam doesn't end up putting the little baby Jesus somewhere that would embarass me.... like in the washing machine. I mean, since I haven't done laundry in a while, it could be embarassing to one day discover Jesus in there, especially if he's been there for weeks....

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