Yesterday was our 3 year anniversary.

Due to circumstances (ie: quitting my job, getting a speeding ticket) I am currently low on funds and wasn't able to do the things I wanted to do for Amanda in celebration of our 3 years of incredible happiness. Not just things I wanted to do for her, but things she deserves.

One thing I've learned in the past three years is to stop waiting for things to go wrong. Even though people keep saying,

"It won't always be that good."

or

"I thought my marriage would always be wonderful, too."

I've come to realize that these are jaded people. For whatever reason, they've been disappointed in the manifestation of the institution of marriage. Mostly I believe people either get married for the wrong reasons, or have a preconceived notion of what marriage will or should be. When it turns out differently, blame is placed. Or I should say, blame is misplaced.

I was lucky to have had two fantastic years of dating Amanda before we got married. I knew (fairly early on) that we would be together, although I must admit that the thought of marriage was scary to me (mostly because of attitudes shared by people I knew who had been "jaded"). The word I used beginning the first month I knew Amanda to describe both her and the way I felt about "us" was comfortable. I still use that word to describe us. It comes across with some complacency when merely written on a page, but to actually feel this way is amazing. A few entries ago I spoke about feeling comfortable with being alone for the day. Two of the hardest things for people to do are being comfortable with yourself, and being comfortable with your significant other. I know who I am, and I don't have to impress myself, or lie to myself to feel better about being me. I also know who Amanda is, and (although it still baffles me at times) I know how she feels about me and that I don't have to try to impress her either. It's amazing.

We didn't start out with a perfect relationship, and we certainly don't have a perfect relationship. There are problems and obstacles. It's taken effort to make things work. The great thing is: the effort is more than worth the reward. The effort makes me a better person. The effort makes us better at being husband and wife. I like who I am, and I like who we are as a couple; that's how I know it's a good relationship. It's truly amazing.

Amanda's entry Dela from yesterday lets me know how she feels.

Amazing.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

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