It's time. I was reading someone's journal this morning and saw the entry where she talked about regretting having told a child that he was acting like a "stupid fucking turd". I told myself this was a sign. I have my own story to tell. And here it is (a slightly abbreviated version).

Amanda and I were going to see some friends and we stopped a publix to get some food for the cookout they were having. We could barely get to a parking space due to the 3 or 4 people who were cruising the fire lane in front of the store. You know the people I'm talking about - too old or lazy or whatever to just go park; they insist on parking in the fire lane because they're "just going to be a minute inside". It drives me crazy. One such person was getting back into her soccer-mom minivan as I was walking past her and giving her a dirty look. She had already shut the door and was starting the car. I was about 10 feet past her when I heard, "Hey! Do you have a problem with me?"

I froze. I thought quickly to myself, and decided it couldn't possibly be her. There must be someone else (doing something stupid, no doubt) calling out to someone other than me. I turned around to see her staring at me, door open, her half out and half inside the minivan still.

Basically I told her that she was blocking people, that it took us forever (a mild exaggeration) to get to a parking space. She said something stupid back. And then, I let loose. I was so frustrated with her (and completely shocked that she was parked illegally and challenging me) I just looked at her and said, "You stupid fucking whore."

At that point Amanda had caught up to me and grabbed my arm to pull me inside the store. The soccer-mom yelled something about me needing to go to church more. I wanted to ask her if "knowing god" meant that I could park illegally, leave my kids alone in the car and make stupid challenges against people who gave me a dirty look. I didn't get the chance.

So - while I'm not too proud of how I did it, I am glad that I didn't back down and got to tell her what I thought of her. I really wish that I had calmly gone over to her and explained that it was ridiculous to leave children alone in a car, illegal to park in the fire lane, and annoying to be behind her as she inched her way into that illegal spot. I wish that I had explained to her how she was teaching her children poor behavior, and that it was OK to break the law. A small part of me also wishes that someone had stolen her car while she was gone and then she'd never do that again.

The funny thing is: this woman had no time to go find a legal parking space and walk into the store. What she did have time for was bitching at me, then coming into the store to complain to the manager (about what, I'm not sure).

On our way out, Amanda and I noticed that she had gone to a regular parking space before coming in to complain about me.

Now that was easy, wasn't it?

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

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