What a holiday season...

The trip home was good, but I'm always reminded of that saying "you can't go home again" or whatever it is. It's just not the same.

For me it all centers around being the youngest. I will be the first to admit that, growing up, I was "babied". I had a big brother - the best big brother I could have hoped for - who would do anything for me. He protected me, stood up for me, taught me about music and listening to it for pure enjoyment, gave me insight into the harsh realities of life to make it easier for me, and just generally made growing up in my house much better than it would have been without him.

Both my parents were much more relaxed with me - my big brother had already gone through things first, so by the time I was entering whatever stage of life, he had already "tested the waters" so that anything I did was more acceptable. I was also more interested in pleasing my parents than my brother was, so that made things easier for me then; but the goal of pleasing them all the time is something I now regret a bit.

The problem with going home again is this: I'm still the "baby". It's frustrating as hell to sit with both your parents in the house you grew up in while holding your own son, but be talked to and about as if you were still 7 years old. It's also embarassing. I noticed my brother also still has his protective nature toward me. Interestingly it now extends to Amanda as well. He just wants us to be happy. Whatever we wanted to do was fine with him, and he was willing to do whatever he needed to do to make it happen. I admire him for that - he's (often too) selfless, in a way that promotes peace and happiness for those around him. It's too bad he doesn't receive enough of that in return.

**In other news...**

I'm back at work today - yes, returned to work on a Friday. It will help me ease back into things. I opened a folder today left on my desk by my manager. It's full of work that needs to be done, things neglected in my absence. It also had a small envelope in it, with my name on the outside. In the envelope was a "thank you" card... from my manager. He details inside the card that he chose to give my a "thank you" card instead of a holiday card because he wanted me to know how much he has enjoyed working with me, and appreciates all I have done for our department. I don't deserve this... I truly feel that everything I've done has been what's expected of me - it's not like I've gone "above and beyond", but these people think I have. It's nice. Odd in a way, but nice.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

---

What I Read(for fun and amusement)

---

HERE