Today I have lots to write about. Being gone in KC with no (free) access to a computer put me on hold for a few days, and I'm trying to get back in the swing of things.

First (because it's freshest on my mind) - I am blown away by the number of "daily project" websites. There are thousands of sites dedicated to: a picture a day, our family over the years, what I ate every day for the last 10 years, etc. It's fascinating. I can't imagine having the discipline to do something like that. If I had to write in this journal every day, it wouldn't last long. I'm also amazed at the number of people who like to bug the shit out of people with these sites. Almost every site I looked at (that had a "faq" or comments section) had at least a couple of questions like:

"Are you bored?"

"This is stupid, don't you have anything better to do?"

"You suck."

And on and on and on.... It seems to me that if you have nothing better to do with your time than peruse the web looking for people to attack, then you really have no ground on which to stand in assessing who is and is not bored or stupid.

Second (I think I was making a list... maybe not) - Amanda and I watched "The Salton Sea" last night. Val Kilmer, Vincent D'Onofrio, Meat Loaf, others I can't remember. It was surprisingly good. Surprising because of Val Kilmer. I'm not such a huge fan of any of his work after "Top Secret" and "Real Genius". But he was good. If you can get past the first 20 minutes (30 for Amanda), then I think you might be able to enjoy this movie. It includes good music (there's a scene in a bar where an elderly man is quietly singing "Walk on the Wild Side" in the background - just great), an amazing performance by Vincent (I didn't even realize he was in it until I saw the credits), and a few scenes that reminded me of "Pulp Fiction" (that's a good thing). It ended up being a good rental - and maybe my opinion of it is even better due to the fact that I thought it wasn't going to be very good. I set the bar low from the start.

Another thing that has crept into my mind lately is the fact that we have three weeks (or thereabouts) left until the kid makes his appearance. My excitement has now become tinged with a hint of anxiety. I'm suddenly overwhelmed by a need/desire to do lots of projects before he arrives. I want to put in new flooring, I have woodworking projects I never started/finished, I want a vacation, I want more time with Amanda, there are books to read; I could go on for a while.

Thing is - I don't know why I can't do most of these things after he's born. I can still read every now and then, can't I? Amanda and I will have "those moments" (don't let your mind wander... that's not what I'm referring to) every now and then, won't we? I mean, sure - I'll be tired, my time will mostly be filled with taking care of this helpless little life for a while - I understand that. But will I have some time to do things? I can't see why not. It seems to me, logically, that people with kids don't stop reading, remodeling, spending time with each other, talking, learning, growing. So what am I afraid of?

One thing I am afraid of is turning into that idiot in the break room who has just found out that someone is about to be a parent and smiling while saying, "you're gonna have your hands full - you won't ever sleep again - there's no turning back now!" Why do people do that? Is there a misery that comes with being a parent that is just no good until it's shared? Why is it so rare to hear someone say, "That's fantastic. I love being a parent." Why can't their first reaction be a positive one - instead of a mocking, "mark my words" type of reaction?

Some people make it sound great - being a parent, that is. They smile when talking about it, even when sharing the trying parts. Even when talking about being exhausted and frustrated and lost, they smile. That's who I want to be.

I don't want to feel like I'm wrong for not 'warning' people about being a parent.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

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What I Read(for fun and amusement)

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