Well I narrowly escaped that one! Whew! Didn't end up having to speak in front of a bunch of people. Because I ducked out. Early. Without telling anyone.

I know. I'm a pussy-boy.

I had trouble sleeping last night. When I went to bed, I had these mini-anxiety attacks when I would think about all the things I had to do for today. I got up early and was at the community center (sales meeting, see previous entry) early. I even spoke the words out loud to someone... "I will be making some announcements later and I will cover this material".

Travis showed up, we sat and played on-line using our 'for work only' computers. We talked. We made fun of people - the room we were in is on the second floor of the community center and has one wall of windows which overlook the gymnasium where lots of vendors were set up and salesreps were walking around getting freebies. Travis was required to go back to the office today, had to make some deliveries and stuff. So he left around 1:30. I was out of there by 2:15.

At first I just sat there reading online journals and downloading music from Soulseek. Then it occurred to me. "What the hell am I doing just sitting here?" So I quietly packed up all my stuff and left. I really wasn't feeling well. I wonder why? Well, let's see.... what did I have to eat today? I stopped at the BP and got a 22 oz. coffee, went to the community center and ate bacon, a biscuit, some fruit and more coffee. Then for lunch I went to get my own freebies in the gym. I had: 3 different types of cheese sticks, fried mushrooms, asiago-stuffed olives (fried), onion rings, sample of prime rib, bbq pork, and an apple. I'm not even going to mention my choice of drink... OK, you talked me into it. I had about two sips of Crystal Light Raspberry Ice. That stuff is from Satan. Sucralose should be called "Suckralose". So - all that on top of the pizza we had for dinner last night. And I wonder why my intestines hate me?

After all this, and knowing that Amanda had stayed home from work today and was currently at home only three miles from the community center, I decided to leave. I walked out as stealthily as possible, never looking back. The entire (3 mile) drive home I was filled with awful thoughts about being fired or getting into some sort of trouble for leaving, but it didn't change my mind. I was on a mission: avoid embarassment at all costs.

Honestly I am not sure how I made it through things like senior seminar in college, and my presentations and oral exams to get through graduate school. Oh, wait, yes I do. I couldn't eat for days before each "performance". And then I felt like I had to puke throughout each one. Thing is, I always did fine. People seemed to enjoy my presentations, I got A's, I graduated, etc. It's just a problem I've got.

But not today.

previous - next

duh - 2008-09-15

hi mac - 2006-12-12

corporate whore - 2006-11-03

new - 2006-10-05

elvis costello sings for you - 2006-09-27

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What I Read(for fun and amusement)

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